Your Emotional State Can Have a Big Impact on the Way You Declutter Your Home
When it comes to chucking items in the trash, be mindful of your "why"
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This week I’ve been in London catching up with old friends, all of which knew me well before I upended my life, sold all my stuff, and headed off to mainland Europe.
These are people who saw my process from big spender, to minimalist, to traveler owning hardly anything. As such, I’ve had plenty of conversations this week about that transition, most pertinently, the state of my mental health whilst I was decluttering during that period. Because I have to admit, my head wasn’t in a great space back then.
It got me to thinking. How does your emotional state at the point of decluttering affect what stays and what goes?
It’s a point that’s not talked about enough.
How are you feeling right this minute?
Take a moment to think about that.
Then think - if you started a decluttering session today, how would your current mood affect what you choose to throw out?
What if you’re mad at your parents right now. If you started a decluttering session, would you be keen to throw away sentimental items relating to them?
Conversely, say you’re feeling sad about losing a grandparent recently. Could that mean holding onto items relating to them for longer than you should?
Back in 2020 when I was in the throes of my “final declutter,” I was burnt out, battling depression and anxiety. I was about to leave the UK for greener pastures and I was determined to make that happen at all costs.
In that mood, I had few qualms about throwing away a LOT of stuff, right down to the most sentimental of items. The way I saw it, my stuff was keeping me in the UK and I wanted to be free of it all.
Out went old photos, love letters from my husband in the first years of our relationship, pieces of art I loved but I felt had no place in my future.
In other words, my emotional state had a huge effect on what went and what stayed.
The big question - does this mean I regret throwing out or giving away certain things?
Friends, I’m in the market of being honest so I have to tell you that yeah, I do have some regrets.
We’re not talking anything huge here but there are a few key items I wish I’d held onto. I was swayed so much by my desperate desire to start my new life that it clouded my judgment.
Emotions can do that.
Being mindful of your emotional state is an answer to one of the biggest concerns of minimalism:
What if you regret throwing away your stuff?
And how do you minimize those regrets?
First things first. I would bet my bottom dollar that you will absolutely regret throwing away something. My mother for instance regretted throwing away all her dresses from the 70s when they came back in fashion.
Regrets are (regretfully) a part of life. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t throw anything away for fear you might want it “someday.”
There are a couple of ways you can minimize your chances of remorse:
Declutter slowly
Start with the little stuff. Your kids’ broken toys, the twenty year old energy bills, out-of-date food, the clothes you haven’t worn in 10 years. The easy throws.
As you delve further into decluttering your home and start to consider those more sentimental items, go slow. If you’re not sure, diarize to re-visit the item in a month or two.
IMO it’s better to declutter slowly and intentionally than it is to throw everything out in an emotional whirlwind.
Know your “why”
Why are you decluttering? What’s the purpose? Forget Marie Kondo with her joy-sparking, instead ask yourself “does this item fit into the lifestyle I want (or indeed, need)?”
Say you have an egg slicer. You may like it, heck you may even use it every day. Your emotional response may be that you’d like to keep it.
But say your “why” is that you want to free up both space and time. That egg slicer takes up room in your kitchen. It needs to be washed and replaced if it breaks. An all-purpose chef’s knife does the same job and is multi-purpose.
If that egg slicer doesn’t fit into your “why,” it’s a good candidate for the Goodwill box.
Setting up your weekend
3 articles from my collection (paywall free)
Ditching My House for Airbnbs Taught Me 5 Surprising Lessons About What Really Matters in a Home
How to Live a Simple Life Without the Stark White Walls, 100 Items and Tiny Home
3 of the best pieces of content I’ve consumed this week
Instagram - Simple and Straightforward
Yes, that’s me! I’ve finally set up Simple and Straightforward’s Instagram account this week. Follow me over there for more simple living bumpf all week long.
Article - What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life? Krista O'Reilly Davi-Digui
This is an old article but an excellent one. What if we don’t want to be famous, highly productive or wildly successful but just “enough”?
Show - Stanley Tucci “Searching for Italy”
If you want to watch Stanley Tucci traipsing around the most interesting - and beautiful - parts of Italy, this show is for you. Simple, gorgeous, and inspiring.
Simple + Straightforward is a weekly letter filled with essays, tips, and ideas to live life more simply and intentionally. This is a public post so feel free to share with friends and family you think would enjoy a dose of simplicity every Friday.