Using the "Three Strikes You're Out" Method Can Drastically Improve Your Relationship with Social Media
On finding the socials that work for you
Welcome to Simple + Straightforward, a weekly letter about living on your own terms in a simple, meaningful way. If this is your first time here, welcome! I’m so pleased to have you in this little community.
Like most people, social media and me go way back.
First, it was MSN messenger and MySpace. Then it was DiaryLand (anyone remember that one?) where I documented my 16-year-old romantic escapades in great detail until one of the boys found out.
And like most people, I’m on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter.
I know social media isn’t exactly human-friendly. I’ve seen The Social Dilemma. I’ve read Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. I know how it goes down.
And yet despite my efforts to minimize my social media screen time, I seem to be signing up for a new platform every week. Discord, Slack, Bitclout, TikTok, Substack, LinkedIn, the list gets longer and longer.
You want to stay engaged and connected with the world, but signing up to 20 different social media platforms is hardly bossing the minimalist lifestyle.
Nor is it sensible.
So what do you do?
I have what I call a three strikes and you’re out method to determine which social media should stay and which should be thrown into the cyberspace wastebin.
Steal it if you’re feeling overwhelmed too.
The Charlie Brown Social Media three strikes method (patent pending)
Let’s start with a list of social media platforms that have had me (and many of us) under their spell for anything from one month to 15 years. In order of longevity they are
Facebook - Twitter - Instagram - LinkedIn - Medium - Substack - Tiktok
Each one is going to get a strike when I answer negatively to the following questions. Three or more strikes and it’s out.
1. Is the platform owned by Meta?
Facebook and Instagram, I’m looking at you.
The problem with Meta is that it’s a scary-ass company and Mark Zuckerberg is a scary-ass guy. Proceed with caution here guys, proceed with caution.
2. Are you constantly refreshing your feed?
That’ll be Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.
Of course, all social media wants you to stay on the platform as long as possible. The brightest brains in the world are paid hundreds of thousands to figure out ways to keep our eyes glued to our screens.
But there are some whose algorithms are so clever, and it’s all so habitual, that you feel you’re stuck in a never-ending loop of refresh, refresh, refresh. You’re hoping for that little dopamine hit of another like or that you’ll find a new post that could change your life (newsflash, it never does).
3. Does the platform add value?
This is probably the most important question of all. Does spending half an hour on a particular platform give you something in return for your dedication to it?
For me, this was an easy one. Medium, Substack, and LinkedIn all add value to my life.
Medium literally changed my life for the better, not only because I am paid to write there, but because I found writers who changed my perspective on pretty much everything.
Substack does the same. The writing on this platform is incredible and I love seeing the newsletters ping through to my email each week.
LinkedIn is a new(ish) platform for me and I find it a really positive, inspiring place.
Social media should augment your life, not make it worse. If the platform adds value, it can keep its place at the table.
4. Do you post on the platform?
I have never once posted on Tiktok. I probably last posted on Facebook three years ago. And however many times I promise myself I’ll tweet more often, I still only send out about one lacklustre tweet a month.
There are enough distractions in the social media world without adding platforms you don’t even use.
5. Does the platform make you feel like shit?
For me, the culprits are Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Instragram especially used to be a real source of discontent thanks to the sheer magnitude of image-crafting that goes on there.
There is enough in real life to make you feel crappy. Let’s not add to the burden.
The results
Facebook: 5 strikes
Instagram: 4 strikes
Twitter: 4 strikes
TikTok: 3 strikes
Medium: 0 strikes
Substack: 0 strikes
LinkedIn: 0 strikes
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and TikTok are out.
Medium, Substack, and LinkedIn are in.
5 simple questions have potentially slashed my social media distractions by 50%.
One final piece of advice
If you really don’t want to jettison a particular platform, consider removing everyone you follow, then only re-adding those you actually like. I did this with my Instagram account about 4 years ago and it was like magic. I think I went from following something like 800 people to 60.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to make use of that uninstall button, once and for all. Although maybe Instagram gets a pass. Maybe…