There Are 4 Words That Encompasses Everything Simple and Straightforward Is About
A phrase that will get you far in life
Paid subscribers, listen to the audio version - narrated by me - here
The more I move through life, the more I find myself saying four little words on a near-hourly basis (and if you’re not a fan of casual swearing, I would suggest you skip this week because I’m going to say this a lot):
Don’t be a dick.
I write something in the region of 8000-10,000 words a week and everything I write about basically boils down to those four words. I believe that the world would be a much better place if we all did our bit to be less…dickish.
Yet the reason I have so much to write about is that the world, alas, has not yet gotten the memo. Friends and family - they can be dicks. Online “gurus”? Definitely dicks. Government? Almighty bellends. Society at large? You guessed it…
If I could get away with it, I would have don’t be a dick tattooed somewhere on my body. A constant reminder to everyone - including myself - to be nice, don’t screw over people, society, the environment, yourself.
But until I happen to walk past a tattoo studio whilst REALLY drunk I’ll make do with today’s Don’t Be a Dick manifesto.
***
Being nice isn’t easy. It means digging deep to find scraps of empathy, even when you feel anything but. It means rising above your own mood or set of preferences. It means being the bigger person. And sometimes that’s just annoying.
Sometimes, we want to be dicks because it’s the easier way. It can be really cathartic, especially if we believe someone “deserves” it. Not being a dick to someone who has been one to you can feel like you’re doing yourself a disservice.
The problem lies in what happens when we all engage in this sort of crappy behavior all the time. It becomes normalized. We start to expect that people are going to be dicks and oftentimes, they are perfectly willing to prove us right. Then it’s only a matter of time before we throw in the towel and become dicks ourselves. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, chaps.
I don’t buy it.
I don’t buy that this is the way the world has to be, or that we are doing humanity any sort of favors by lowering ourselves to this level.
Life is much nicer - and more fun - when the dickish behavior stops. I mean, imagine how much better life would be if people around us stopped being a dick in, oh I don’t know, let’s say these 50 or so ways (and these were just off the top of my head):
In society
Racism
Sexism
Homophobia
Xenophobia
Selfishness
Greed
Bragging
Blaming people for their unavoidable situations
Lacking compassion
Hating on people for *insert random reason here*
Being angry for literally no reason
Getting hot and bothered about minor problems
In family and friend circles
Patronizing someone younger’s opinion
Disregarding someone older’s opinion
Bringing up an infraction from 20 years ago alllll the time
Being unwilling to accept differences in lifestyle
Asking someone when they’re having kids
Asking someone why they don’t have kids
Saying “it’ll be different when you have kids”
Mentioning someone’s weight (in a nice or nasty way, it doesn’t matter)
At work
Dumping on subordinates
Being a martyr with working hours
Taking credit for someone else’s work
Expecting everyone to work the same way
Ignoring the newbies (it’s hard, being the new kid on the block)
Taking out frustrations on staff
Booking pointless meetings
Saying the words “it’s just business”
In conversation
Never asking a question
Being a “transmitter” (people who are loud, obnoxious, and like the sound of their own voice)
Bringing everything back to themselves
Looking around the room for someone “more interesting” to speak to
Pretending not to remember someone
During travel
Kicking someone’s seat
Allowing kids to kick someone’s seat
Being shitty to the flight attendant (it’s a hard, hard job)
Complaining that there are so many Spaniards in Spain (true story)
Expecting everyone to understand English
Ignoring local customs
Whilst driving
Driving an obnoxiously large gas guzzler
Laughing at people taking public transport
Cutting people up
Flashing full beams
Driving up someone’s arse
In bars, restaurants, shops, and cafes
Cutting in line
Wheeling out the phrase “the customer is always right.”
Asking for the manager when the employee has already said no.
Demeaning wait staff
Unrealistic demands
***
Alas, it’s hard to stop the world from being dickish. All we can really do is stop ourselves if we catch it. Because we’re all guilty in that respect. I know I can tick off at least 17 items from the above list (and maybe more besides).
I try to catch my crappy behavior. I try to be self-aware and a good human being. In lieu of being a parent, I try to teach my nieces and nephews how to be good people too. I write to you lovely lot and try to inspire non-dickish behavior that way.
The world can be a hard place to be in sometimes. But it would be a whole lot easier if we all took a moment to think…
Don’t be a dick.
This is excellent!!
5 dicks! I mean stars 😅 Seriously, great post and perhaps just boils down to the Golden Rule - would you like to be treated the way you’re treating that person, animal, plant, the environment etc. right now? I’m always amazed by the justification to be a Dick coming from the place of ‘well he/she/they did it to me!’