The Stats Say the Smaller Our Lives, the Happier We Are. So Why Are We so Obsessed with Big?

Big cars, big homes, big possessions but small world

Image credit: Imagine

Small is a dirty word.

Small-minded. Small lives.

Not good.

But in some circumstances, small could be better for you. And the stats back this up.

Are we searching for the crab under the wrong rock? Should we be looking for it under the small one rather than the big?

And how the heck do you do that without being sucked into a small-minded world?

---

First let me make myself clear. I am — and always have been — of the opinion that it’s important to have an open, worldly, big outlook. Yep, that might make you more miserable sometimes because the world kinda sucks sometimes and the more exposed you are to it, the more you’ll feel that.

But the alternative — becoming so small and inward-facing that you start to think hey, perhaps Ron De Santis, Boris Johnson, and Donald Trump have got some good ideas— is worse.

The world is big. We should be tolerant of it and the people within it and that will never happen if your world is so small you never see or understand anything than your own POV.

That’s not the sort of small I’m talking about.

But (and it’s a big but) in many, many ways our life would be better, happier — and funnily enough breed more tolerance — if we were to stop looking at big as the holy grail.

I’m talking big growth. Big money. Big houses. Big cars. Big careers. Big out-of-town superstores. Big debt.

Big stuff.

This is when small comes into its own. And the stats prove it. Try these on for size:

• Bigger houses bear no correlation to the happiness of their inhabitants.

• Studies have indicated that less stuff breeds gratitude, thus people with less are happier than those who live with abundance.

• Luxury car owners are no happier than people who drive around in rustbuckets.

• New studies suggest that the bigger your salary, the more unhappy you are at work.

As a subscriber of this publication, this is probably not news to you. But it’s worth reiterating sometimes because it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of bigger is better.

I, for instance, this week had a big moan to a fellow Substackian and Medium writer

Rocco Pendola

about my Medium follower count. For some reason, it’s way below average this month and that bothers me more than I am comfortable with. I am psychologically programmed to want bigger.

And if you do decide to go small, no one makes that easy on you. Lord knows I’ve had enough negative comments about the size of the apartments I like to rent. My small wardrobe. My simple(ish) life. Even the number of my Medium followers and Substack subscribers has been used as a yardstick of my writing success. I am not the only one who wants bigger in that department. 

Not big enough? Not successful. Not successful? WTF are you even playing at?

Urgh.

Enough. 

---

Simple and Straightforward doesn’t happen without its paying subscribers. Consider upgrading today for $5/mo or $50/yr. This gives you at least two articles a week plus access to a huge archive of essays and courses. Not only that, you’re keeping this project - and an indie writer - going!

---

I’m currently re-reading Paul Jarvis’s book Company of One. The first sentence of the book reads:

There’s no such thing as perpetual growth.

He then spends the next 238 pages explaining exactly why.

He’s right. Growth isn’t perpetual and yet we pursue it as if it is.

It’s a strange world we live in.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. In order to stop the growth machine, you’ve got to have a healthy dose of F**k You attitude because swapping big for small isn’t exactly in our DNA.

You’ve got to truly believe that smaller is better in order to make it work.

Thankfully for you, it often is.

So how do you do it?

Each to their own but I like to go for the jugular and start with the big stuff. Your house. Your car. Your possessions. Your career. 

I don’t like to f**k about.

It’s not an easy pursuit and not exactly something you can achieve in one weekend. But something you can do quickly is assess what you have and consider whether you really need more. Or could you be satisfied with what you already own?

Living simply isn’t always about reducing. Sometimes it’s about not adding more. Replacing like for like. Keeping your 20 year old car a couple more years.

And reveling in the peverse enjoyment of sticking two fingers up to growth for growth’s sake.

---

The TL:DR is this:

Keep your mind big and your worldly possessions small.

One kind of begets the other, don’t you think? It’s hard to keep your mind open to big concepts when it’s filled with cleaning or tidying or working 70 hours a week for some promotion, or settling bloated car payments. 

So the less stuff you have to think about, the more you can focus on the bigger picture.

Honestly, I think that’s part of why we’re happier with less. It fosters a broader mindset, one that focuses on the external rather than the internal.

Navel-gazing is exhausting. Just ask anyone who spends all their time focusing on making money so they can satisfy their own desires for a big house, big car, big stuff. Have you ever spoken to someone like that? Do they not come across as miserable bastards?

I know a few people like that. I don’t want you to be like that.

I’m sure you’re not.

Because you’re sensible. You read S+S. You keep your mind big and possessions small.

You know that growth isn’t the be all and end all of life.

And you are all the better for it. 🤘

---

🌿 I WANT YOUR SIMPLE LIVING QUESTIONS. Every first Tuesday of the month I’ll answer reader questions on simple living, minimalism, and living sustainably. If you have a question for me, send it in here.

🌿🌿 GIVE ME A FOLLOW ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET - I’m on LinkedIn, TikTok and I also write 2-3 extra essays a week at Medium (if you don’t have a Medium membership you can get one here).

---