The Conundrum of Social Media vs. a Simple Life

Can they really co-exist?

Simple + Straightforward is a weekly letter filled with essays, tips, and ideas to live life more simply and intentionally. This is a public post so feel free to share with friends and family you think would enjoy a dose of simplicity every Friday.

Photo by Matt Seymour on Unsplash

Ever since I wrote about a boy I was entangled with on the now defunct diaryland.com back in 2000 - and he found it - I’ve had a wary relationship with social media.

As my Medium.com followers will know, I’m not a particularly private person - I’ll be honest and open with my audience over there. Yet I don’t like to document my whole life on Instagram. I don’t feel the need to spew every single one of my thoughts onto Twitter.

As someone who strives for a simple life, my lack of addiction to social media should be a good thing. And yet I genuinely believe that, when handled with care, social media can be a glorious thing. It can connect you with like-minded people. It can broaden your horizons. As a writer, it strengthens my “brand” and brings new people into the fold of Simple and Straightforward.

But how do you align social media with a simple life?

It’s something I ponder almost daily.

Posting intentionally, consuming intentionally

One of the most fascinating aspects of living on the road is watching people pose for Instagram in exactly the same way, all over the world. I’m one of those curmudgeonly types who will mutter things like “they’re not even looking at that view” or “why would you want to pose in front of the sea instead of jumping in it?”

The worst incident I witnessed was in the south of Spain during a particuarly intense Flamenco performance in a tiny bar. I was doing what I normally do when I watch Flamenco and welling up with tears, when a couple of tourists walked in. They stood right in front of me, took a series of selfies with the performance behind them and promptly left. They didn’t even glance at the dancers and singers whose performance was so powerful it turned me into a sobbing emotional mess.

This is posting without intention and it’s the worst of what social media has turned us into. Humans who collect beautiful yet emotionless photos to image-craft the crap out of their lives online.

On the flip side of the coin is posting with intention. Photos that are posted not to make us look good but because they made us feel something and we want to enthuse others with that feeling. Tweets with substance. Long form content written with the reader in mind.

Posting intentionally is when social media transitions from an empty distraction to a simple living tool. If you post with intention - and follow accounts who do the same - you can form communities. You can pass on good feelings. We can become part of a solution, not add to a problem.

If you want a simple life which still includes social media, posting and consuming with intention is a good place to start.

Fill your days, reduce your social media

Yesterday, I went to a friend’s house for a pizza party. About 10 of us ranging in age from 2 to 42 sat in the glorious Summer sunshine (never a sure thing in the UK) as my husband and I taught everyone the tricks to making Neapolitan pizza.

6 hours passed before I even considered looking at my phone, I was too distracted with what was happening IRL.

The same happened when four of us went gorge walking a few days back. Yes, the phone came out for a few snaps but apart from that, it was another 6 phoneless hours of my life.

These were meaninguful activities, ones that filled up my time with happiness and fun and laughter. As I’ve become more intentional with my social media usage, I’ve discovered that I’m mostly logging onto the likes of Instagram and Twitter when I’m bored. Those dead zones of the day when I’m sitting around doing nothing.

It seems like an obvious point but speaking to people about this, most don’t consider social media as a boredom-stopper.

Yet the science says the link between boredom and social media is real. And alas, despite modern life being incredibly busy, it can also be interminably boring. Up to 90% of adults and 98% of young people say they feel bored at some point during their day and social media is only too happy to fill that gap.

This is where simple living comes into its own. Simple living asks you to focus on intentional, meaningful tasks, to fill your days with things that sustain you, not drain you. Do this and you might find that your desire for social media usage will naturally decline as you become less bored.

A new era of social media is upon us

Not all social media platforms were made equal and times are changing. Yes, the big hitters like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok are still huge, but slowly, somewhat quietly, a social media revolution is happening.

There are platforms who are rejecting algorithmic models in favor of old-school timelines where you will see everything from someone you choose to follow. My husband is developing one of these right this minute and it’s going to be glorious.

Then there are platforms like Medium where kindness and positivity (generally) prevails. This platform also favors - and rewards - long-form, though-provoking content that sparks debate.

Newsletters and mailouts are also being overhauled by platforms like the very one you’re on now - Substack. I subscribe via Substack to mailouts from recipe writers to urbanists to PhD students studying mom culture. If I choose to pay these creators, my money goes direct to them, and I see 100% of what they write.

These social media platforms have disrupted the old, profit-at-all-costs models. The ones that treat us like lab-rats conditioned to hit the refresh button for two and a half hours a day. The ones that enslave us to their algorithms.

Not all social media platforms have to suck your time and energy. Some of the new models are offer better, more relevant content without the addictiveness of everything owned by Mark Zuckerberg.

My own simple life has become better informed and more community focused since discovering these new platforms. I now spend longer on Substack than I do on Instagram and my brain thanks me for it.

Social media doesn’t have to be addictive brain-numbing fodder - these new platforms are testament to that.

So. Do you need social media for a simple life?

In an ideal world, probably not. As Joshua Becker once said, you don’t need social media to make a difference to the world.

But this is 2022, not 1992. You probably want social media to play a part in your life and that is not necessarily a bad thing. As always with this simple living lark, it all boils down to intentionality.

Being intentional with your posting and your consumption goes a long way to ensuring that social media is a part of your life, not the whole of your life.

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Setting up your weekend

3 articles from my collection (paywall free)

• Want Better Sleep? Quit With Fancy Sleep Tech and Focus on the “Holy Sleep Trinity” Instead

• 4 Ways to Take Control of Your Instagram Account so It No Longer Makes You Feel Inadequate

• 7 Common Tasks I Cut out in Pursuit of a More Simple, Slow Life

3 of the best pieces of content I’ve consumed this week

Article - Your attention didn’t collapse. It was stolen

I came across this article whilst researching today’s essay and was absorbed by it. Johann Hari is an excellent writer and this story is no exception.

Website - Julie de vivre

This was a happy find via Julie’s guest post at Becoming Minimalist. Like me, Julie is a minimalist who travels the world.

Article - 12 Months of Hardcore Minimalism Changed Me (Renee Tarantowski on Medium.com)

A rundown of how writer Renee used minimalism to transform her life in a year.