I got my ass to a PCR test centre last week and it turns out my lateral flow tests were displaying false negatives. Hello Omicron.
Like so many who are suffering from the virus, it floored me. Bed was my best friend, as were cold compresses and cough mixture. I didn’t do much other than sleep, eat, and watch TV for 2 weeks.
At 11.59 pm on New Year’s Eve, I was lying in bed in the dark, holding my husband’s hand (who was also positive), listening to the fireworks crackle outside the house and the neighbours’ kids squealing with excitement as they exploded.
We started to talk, talk like we haven’t in many months. He won’t mind me admitting that 2021 was not always kind to us as a couple. But there in the dark, my mind feeling something akin to treacle, we agreed that 2022 is the year we get back on the same team again.
I realised something. Contracting Covid had sparked a re-connection because it forced us to slow down. It was both a common enemy we could both shake our fists at and a stark reminder of what really matters in life.
Being poorly turned out to be a super weird blessing in disguise.
Slowing down before something makes you
How many of us only change our behaviour when we’re forced to? I’m certainly guilty:
I didn’t go to therapy until I had a nervous breakdown.
I didn’t change my career until I was turned down for the same promotion twice.
I didn’t sell my business until it became overwhelming to run (hence the therapy).
Slowing down is no different. No one should wait until something like a nasty, potentially deadly, virus hits us before taking it easy.
In our noisy world - the one where productivity reigns supreme and busy culture is worshipped - slowing down still isn’t a viable option. Sure, the pandemic has helped to show people what truly matters, but there are still bills to pay, bosses to placate, Zoom meetings to attend.
Then, there’s personality. I’m staying with my brother right now, the chalk to my cheese. He could spend all day immersed in his hobbies or in front of the TV. He lives in the middle of nowhere and loves the quiet stillness of the countryside.
I on the other hand am like a Duracell bunny. I take energy from big crowds and bustling cities. Sometimes I think I was a dog in a past life - I need to walk or run for hours a day before I can even think about being tired enough to sleep.
Slowing down doesn’t come naturally to me. Maybe it doesn’t to you either.
But to be frank, whatever your personality, you’re limited by being human. We do not have a limitless capacity for tasks, stimulation, and busyness.
I don’t like resolutions…
…but in the quiet of my childhood bedroom on New Year’s Eve, I did make one. I will try to take it easy this year.
I will make it my mission to stop feeling guilty when I’m not filling my days with tasks. I will do more of what sustains me, not drains me.
I don’t want my body to give out before my brain does, which is a serious risk in our world.
Busy isn’t productive.
Busy gives us exposure to stress and chronic illnesses.
Busy keeps us lonely.
Busy stops us from connecting with people.
Busy can make us angry.
Busy isn’t worth it.
This isn’t going to be easy
My brain has been busy the whole of my teenage and adult life. Telling it to chill out isn’t going to be easy.
I will be bored. I will want to say f**k it, let’s fill that calendar back up.
But as I wrote to you all a few months ago, 66 days is all it takes to make or break a habit. And in its essence, that’s all you’re doing - you’re teaching your brain how to break the busy habit.
I’ll be using the strongest weapon in my arsenal to do this. The thought of my poorly self in bed at midnight on New Year’s Eve, feeling a wave of connection to my partner of nearly 20 years. The thought that weirdly, that set-up beat any New Year’s party I’ve ever attended.
I don’t want to wait until the next big life shitstorm comes along before slowing down again. You shouldn’t either.
2022 is the year of the sloth whose name is Charlie.
Who’s with me?