Say No. But Say Yes Too.

Photo by Olga Nayda on Unsplash

Welcome to Simple and Straightforward, a pulblication about living slowly, sustainably and with intention in an increasingly complex modern world.

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At this time of year, all I want to do is say no.

No to going out when it's damp, dreary, and freaking cold. No to exercising when I still feel sub-par following a nasty bout of flu. No to anything that takes effort and time because I’m sleepy and still in a post-Christmas haze that hasn’t been easy to shake thanks to the aforementioned illness.

Saying no is good. If you want a simpler life, it’s vitally important to say no to time-sucking engagements, people, and things.

But I’ve watched people around me make too much of a habit of saying no. More importantly, I’ve seen them make a habit of saying no to the right things:

• No to fun.

• No to activities that fill the tank rather than deplete it.

• No to splurges, even if they can afford them.

• No to self-care.

• No to prioritizing healthy pursuits.

And yes to the wrong:

• Yes to crappy social engagements.

• Yes to making other people happy even if you’re not.

• Yes to parts of life that statistically don’t make us happy (freedom of choice, more money for the sake of it, buying stuff).

• Yes to social media scrolls and binge-watching TV.

As we ease into 2023, it’s time to do the old switcheroo.

Say no, by all means.

But say yes too. Just to the right stuff.

Say yes to being yourself

That subtitle might be a little too close to meaningless self-improvement territory for my liking, but I’m going with it because it’s the most important place to start.

The older I get - and the more time I spend watching people - the more I realize how few people actually allow themselves to be themselves. Society, people, culture, all of it does its best to rub the edges off people to make them a little more palatable. This is especially so in “polite” cultures like my own - Britain - where saying what you really think is a big no-no. I must have said “I don’t mind what we do” when I really do mind, thousands of times in my life.