Mariah Carey - The Unintentional Messiah of a Minimalist Christmas
She doesn't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
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It’s one of life’s big ironies She’s the self-proclaimed biggest diva of pop who once asked for 20 white kittens and 100 white doves to be released upon her arrival to the capital of UK consumerism, Westfield Shopping Centre - just because.
And yet, Mariah Carey tells us all she doesn’t want a lot for Christmas to the tune of up to 12 million Spotify plays a day.
She wrote the thing in 15 minutes and fully admits it’s hardly a complex masterpiece. But I love All I Want for Christmas as much as the next person and so, I’m crowning Mariah Carey the unintentional messiah of a Minimalist Christmas.
God love her.
🎶 I don't want a lot for Christmas
Neither do I Mariah, to be honest. I’m just hoping to get through the whole thing with my mental health and wallet relatively intact.
There is just one thing I need
It’s not the Teeturle plushie is it? Tiktok tells me it’s the big thing this Christmas.
I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
Not the plushie then.
$15 billion worth of presents are unwanted in the US alone. You’re doing yourself a favor by not adding to it.
I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know
I hear that “I just want you for my own” is exactly what every partnered-up parent thinks most days - the kids are there All The Dang Time. Perhaps babysitting would be a welcome present this year?
Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you.
And when you say you, I’m going to assume you mean friends, family, and loved ones, not just partners.
Me too, Mariah mate. Life is busy and hectic and I don’t spend enough time with those closest to me. Give me time with them over a pair of socks any day.
I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace
It’s not a stocking anymore, Mariah, it’s a sack. And it’s full to the brim.
Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day
If only kids across the land could hear you, Mariah but I fear they’re too preoccupied with the $300 worth of gifts bestowed on them by parents alone.
Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas I won't even wish for snow
Probably a wise move considering the cost of energy these days.
'Cause I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight. What more can I do? Oh, baby, all I want for Christmas is you 🎶
I fear that at Christmas time, those of us who intentionally look for simplicity and minimalism in our lives are singled out as Scrooges.
I can’t talk for all of us but I can say that for my part, I’m far from a Scrooge. I want my Christmas to be filled with an awful lot of stuff, it’s just very little of it is stuff.
I want to spend some quality time with my family (not too much, mind).
I want a nice bottle of wine. I want to cook.
I want an excuse to shut off all my electronics for a day.
I want to pad around in pajamas all day without feeling guilty.
I want to play games and walk and laugh and drink hot chocolate / coffee / tea / wine (preferably all of them) in the backyard.
There’s nothing Scrooge-like about it. It’s just looking at Christmas in a different way. The Mariah Carey way.
There are not many times in my life when I can say I jive with Mariah Carey, but when All I Want for Christmas comes on the stereo, I can truly say:
For once, she’s got it right.
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I’m bingeing Substack newsletters right now in an attempt to learn from the best of the best in order to dominate this platform in 2023 (one can dream). As such, I’ve come across some rather glorious newsletters which now adorn my inbox. Here are three I particularly enjoyed:
Maybe Baby by Haley Nahman - Cultural essays rooted in attempting to make sense of modern life.
Culture Study by Ann Helen - Modern culture under the microscope.
Brent and Michael Are Going Places - Long-time couple swap Seattle for life on the road. Sounds familiar to me!