Being “Fine” Is Kryptonite to Living a Simple Life

It’s hardest to make a change when everything is “OK I suppose”

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Making change when everything has gone to sh*t is easy.

When you hit rock bottom, you feel like you’ve got nothing to lose. So why not?

Not so easy when things are going… fine.

When someone asks you about your job, your relationship, your living situation, your life and you say:

…Yeah, it’s OK.

…then when it comes to building a simpler life, you may find yourself it harder than you think.

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Being fine is kryptonite to living a simple life because living simply is an extremely active lifestyle. There is no room for the inertia that comes with being fine and accepting your lot.

Living simply means being in a constant state of re-evaluation. Of living intentionally and with an enormous dollop of self-awareness.

It’s not a lifestyle where “fine” cuts the mustard because that constant re-evaluation is freaking hard when you’re always in a state of Meh, I’m OK I suppose. Can’t complain.

But what’s the alternative? To have a life full of breaking points where you finally crack enough to make a positive change? That’s no use either because that’s like being in a constant state of fight or flight. Exhausting much?

There is another way. And that is to realize that a lot of our acceptance of a meh life is rooted in the fear of the unknown. You might prefer to stick with “fine” than twist and make a change — such as embracing a simpler life — and find out it wasn’t the right move for you.

For most people, being “alright I suppose” is infinitely preferable to fear of the unknown.

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Evolution has got a lot to answer for. The fact that we’re wired to be negative is one thing that can, in our modern world, backfire.

We’re wired to believe that change will always be bad. We catastrophize. And whilst that was useful back in the day when making a mistake could mean your demise at the hands of a predator or you being abandoned by your tribe, it’s not so useful now.

But we still feel this fear. Downsizing our home — or even engaging in a spot of mild decluttering — can send us spiraling. What if I hate living smaller? What if I need that thing I’ve just thrown out?

For a lot of people, it’s easier to stay fine instead of risking it for the potential of greatness.

It doesn’t help that this is exactly what society tells us to do. We’ve been taught to think that if life isn’t terrible, we shouldn’t complain. We should suck it up and “just get on with it.” We’re told to be grateful for what we do have rather than trying to improve what’s lacking.

Whilst I’m all for gratitude, all this attitude does in reality is create a breeding ground for people who are too scared to admit that being just fine, kinda sucks.

And if you subscribe to this publication, you know we’re not in the market for sucky lives around here.

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I have a friend who has a big house, a nice car, a wife, two kids, BBQs on the weekend, and vacations a few times a year. They spend a lot of money but he makes a lot of money, so they’re fine.

But he tells me that he would love a simpler life. A smaller place. A life less focused on stuff and more on family, friends, and all those intangible parts of life like peace of mind and personal fulfillment.

He’s said this to me for as long as I’ve known him — and that’s about 10 years.

The other side of him is the fine side. His job hardly fills him with inspiration but he doesn’t hate it. He doesn’t see his kids as much as he would like but they do spend weekends together. He’s not great, but he’s OK.

The fact of the matter is that even though my friend’s life is fine, he’s not.

But he’s scared to make any changes for fear of rocking the boat. He constantly pushes back on simple living rhetoric because he would rather stay fine than take the risk of downsizing or simplifying in order to do something like take a more interesting, less stressful but lesser paid job.

He’s the embodiment of that fear.

***

The problem for my friend is that he finds it harder to stay “fine” with every year that passes. It takes more and more effort to maintain the lifestyle he’s become accustomed to. His mortgage has just been renewed. On a five-bedroomed McMansion, with interest rates as they are, that’s no small extra chunk of change.

Ironically by choosing the path of “fine,” he could soon find himself in that situation he was so scared about, with too many payments for even his large salary to account for.

As I say, living simply is an active lifestyle, one you have to bring into being. It doesn’t happen without some serious leg work. It’s the consequence of your positive actions.

Being “fine” on the other hand is passive. It’s accepting what comes your way without question, it’s choosing to follow the path set for you by society which frankly, doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

Eventually, being fine can turn into not being fine, as my friend is discovering.

For my part, I would choose the active lifestyle over the passive one any day of the week. I want to have control over my life, my actions, my situation.

Thus choosing to live a simple life, one that is (largely) within my control, is infinitely preferable to being fine.

It’s more fun that way anyway — just ask Superman how much better life is when he stays away from Kryptonite.

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