7 Thoughts I've Had This Week About What Makes a Good Life

Hello from Scotland

Edinburgh castle yesterday

When I was considering the topic of today’s newsletter, I couldn’t decide what to write about. Based on this week’s experiences (it’s been a busy week with a wedding in the south of England followed by housesitting in Scotland) there were so many threads I could pull at. Which one to choose?

I decided not to choose. Instead, I compiled a list of thoughts I’ve pondered on this week. Thoughts about friendship and careers and loneliness and Summer solstice.

Thoughts about life.

Positive micro-interactions are incredibly effective at combatting loneliness

I’ve long been a fan of micro-interactions — those small conversations many of us have with anyone from baristas to bus drivers to store clerks— every single day. A friend of mine reminded me this week how truly important they are.

She’s just moved here to Glasgow and she told me about a chat she had with a local barista.

In her words, those five minutes made her feel more at home than she did in five years in her last town.

She told me she had plenty of micro-interactions in her last place, but many of them were negative which is a) exhausting and b) doesn’t help with loneliness.

Positive ones, however, can save you.

If you want to read more about micro-interactions and their place in combatting loneliness, I wrote a whole article about it last year (that link is paywall-free).

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Why do we pay so much for a home with outside space but spend so little time in the garden?

My housesit is opposite a huge apartment block, each one with a balcony. We had some great weather this week so I’ve been eating and drinking outside every day. Not a single person in the 125-odd apartments across from me has done the same.

All week.

I’m going to explore this idea further in a whole Medium article, but it struck me this week how few people use their outside space, despite paying up to double for it. Back when I owned a home I could see into 20 or so gardens and they were always empty.

When you think of the mental and physical benefits that come with spending time outside — even sitting on a small balcony helps — it’s crazy.

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If you want to make a career out of your passion, spend time with people who have already done it

I got to catch up with plenty of old wine trade friends this week at a wedding. There must have been 50 or so people there who made a career from their passion. It’s amazing to spend time with people who have done this because it reminds you that it can be done.

They say you’re the product of the five people you spend the most time with but I say you’re the product of everyone you spend time with. If you want to make a career from whatever your passion is, try and find people who have already done it. They’ll set you on the right path.

I wrote more about this over at Medium. Take a look once you’re finished here (the article is paywall-free)

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You don’t need hi-tech equipment for a good life

It turns out that my friend — the one who owns the apartment I’m housesitting for — is an incredibly lo-tech kinda guy. The apartment is filled with books and DVDs. There’s no sound system. No phone-controlled lighting. The TV is old.

My friend doesn’t need all that jazz. He’s too busy hosting people. Traveling. Enjoying his life. Generally being awesome. I mean, the dude is in Bali for a month right now.

Despite what BestBuy likes to tell you, hi-tech doesn’t equate to a good life. It normally just means a distracted life.

And we’re not in the market for one of those here at S+S.

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Good friends don’t have to be people you’ve known forever

I visited Edinburgh for the first time yesterday and spent some of the day with a friend who manages a wine store there. We’ve probably only met each other something like a dozen times over the course of our friendship. We only keep in contact via Instagram — I don’t even have his phone number.

But I LOVE spending time with him. He, my husband, and I had a good three hours together with no awkward silences or small talk that often comes with not knowing someone super well.

I love friends like this because they’re easy. Easy to maintain, easy to spend time in the vicinity of, and most importantly, easy to find compared to long-term, deep friendships.

Friendships like these are good for you.

But forever friends are important too

On the flip side of this, I’ve also spent a lot of my week with my oldest friends.

These are the friends that are like family, that understand you on a level that few people ever get to. That have seen you grow up and change, and have changed with you.

All week I’ve thought—if you have friendships like these, hold onto them.

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And finally — bloody hell it gets dark late up north

I’ve never spent Summer Solstice so far north —Up here, the last of the light doesn’t disappear until well past midnight and honestly, I love it. This was my view 12.01am on 22nd June:

Summer solstice, I love you. Especially in Scotland.

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